leaky toilet....expensive.

so a few days ago i got my water bill.. it was 107 lira, which is over 4 times what it normally is.. (around 20-25 lira) so, needless to say, i was very confused and determined to solve this mystery... well, i have been busy and keep putting off figuring it out.. well today i talked to my boss about it and we finally figured out it's a running toilet in my apartment....that's apparently been running for oh, SIX weeks! what?!

you may ask how i don't notice a running toilet over the course of SIX weeks, but in my defense, we have 2 bathrooms right next to each other.. one is a normal one with a shower, storage, a washing machine, etc... and the other one is basically a closet. it has enough room for a toilet and a sink...barely... so i only ever use the big one.. maybe twice a month if necessary, i'll use the closet one..

to make sure the toilet had, in fact, been running this whole time, i called my new roomie since she uses it a lot.... and i found out, oh ya, it HAS been running every time she has gone in there... what?!

and to make it worse, the numbers on the water meter are already as high as last month's reading and we still have 13 or 14 days left before it's read... ughhh...

well, i did turn off the water to that toilet with strict instructions NOT to use it anymore.. and someone should be here to look at it on saturday... i just wish i had known earlier.. oh well!

washing dishes...

tonight i was excited to cook because, well, it's been a while.. i bake often but actually cooking has been a rare occurrence for me recently.. i cooked for me, one of my roommates, and a friend.. i cooked stuffed peppers, mashed potatoes (with bacon bits!!, thanks allyson), coban salata, bread, and peach cobbler.... yuuum yuuuum..

problem 1 arose when i tried to prepare the food and had to rush out in the middle of it for a language tutoring lesson..

i returned an hour later to a stopped up sink.... so i continued cooking and not washing dishes... we ate and it was delicious and then we went to English Tea Time and i came home to a still stopped up sink (oour draino type liquid didn't help at all....)

since i couldn't go to sleep with a kitchen full of dirty dishes, i decided to clean them by using a plastic tub... every time the water got gross, i dumped it out the kitchen window... from the 4th floor..... i looked both ways and dumped and then closed the window quickly..

it ended up taking an HOUR! there were so many dishes! but, a good meal with friends was worth it... :)

i didn't feel so bad about dumping the water since turks don't mind dumping their trash in the sea, on the side of the road, or out their windows.. mine was just water and a few food scraps.. ha...

oppressed and afflicted.

been reading through/studying psalms for the past few days.... i am amazed at all the characteristics of the Father are shown in these chapters.... one that always sticks out is how He cares for the afflicted and oppressed. when you are oppressed, you usually have no hope. but our Creator cares so much for the oppressed and needy. He is our sustainer and refuge....

psalm 9:9-10
“the Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble, and those who know Your name put their trust in You, for You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You”

psalm 9:12b
“He does not forget the cry of the afflicted”

psalm 10:17-18
“O Lord, You hear the desire of the afflicted, You will strengthen their heart, You will incline Your ear to do justice to the fatherless and the oppressed, so that man who is of earth may strike terror no more”

how much more should we be focused on the cry of the afflicted? on those who are oppressed...

slowing down.

this week (sort of) for the first time since i have been here i'm slowing down.
i have no language class other than one hour a week of tutoring..
i have no students here.
i have no refugee center.
i have no cbs group.
i have nothing really, except english tea time on wednesday.

i think i need to slow down a bit.
listen more.
allow myself to be open and okay without having to be busy and scheduled.
maybe i will learn something more about myself.
i am happy to have more time to hang out with my national friends who have stuck around for the summer..

here's to a relaxing and probably uneventful rest of the summer.. :)

sunset.coffee.roma.

tonight was good. i needed to go outside and see the city a little. and be reminded of more reasons why i love this place and why it is home for me.

i drank a white chocolate mocha from starbucks. and talked with my roomies. and watched an amazing sunset over the city. and talked with a couple of sweet, adorable roma girls. one was a little frisky and i had to tell her over and over not to grab unmentionable areas, but other than that, it was a great night. :)

not so true but crazy story about an organ..

the other day, i was hanging out with a new friend, *Rachel. Rachel is conservative (covered) but a very bubbly and outgoing girl. We talked for a while about what different religions consider sin. Somehow our conversation led to Rachel saying....

"I don't drink because you could be out with a guy you don't really know well and take one drink and the next thing you know you are laying in a bathtub bleeding from your side and he's taken your organ".....

excuse me?

april, my roomie, thought to herself "this must be a metaphor for him taking your heart, a vital organ..." while i thought to myself, "is she talking about rape?"
so i said, "wait i am confused....your organ? like your...... ovaries?"
and she said no and pointed to her back on the side... and i said "your kidneys?!!?"
"yes, your kidneys" said Rachel.
"WHAT?!?!" was the question from both April and I......
"yes he might take your kidney"....
"no way. i don't believe it. does that really happen?!" I asked.
"yes, it does... like rape. it happens.."

so now it's a running joke between a few of us about being careful not to have your kidney stolen and sold on the black market... parents and what they tell their kids to make them avoid drinking..

oh and one thing to make it even funnier... April and I got a new roommate for a couple of months *Elizabeth and she was there for the conversation.. welcome to the 'Bul, roomie.

thunderstorm gibi.

sunday, for the first time since i have been here.......

i heard thunder and saw lightening. mostly thunder.

april and i were soooo excited because we both miss good thunderstorms..
it didn't end up raining much at all, but it was a taste of what we were both missing.

memphians, don't take your awesome thunderstorms for granted. :)

busy summer.

we had a group of 30 students here for 5 weeks. every day i was with some of them. for 5 weeks. they left on saturday and sunday. the past 2 nights i have slept about 10 hours each.

tomorrow i leave for a little island for a few days and then another week. i'll be teaching english to children.

next week, 2 of my friends will be here.. SO excited!!! yay!!!

how to live.

today i heard someone speak about sharing Truth with others. he told a story of a girl he knew that shared Truth with so many people and one day someone asked her if any had come into a relationship with God. she said no, none. that person asked her if she had asked any of them if they wanted to. her answer...no. so she met with her friend who she had the deepest spiritual conversations with and asked her if she thought she was ready to have a relationship with God. her friend became a believer that day.

that story challenged me in the way i share. i think relational sharing is deeeeefinitely the best way for me to share and i have seen God move people closer to the Truth through it... but ya... i don't ever ask.

another story the guy told was about a man who traveled to universities proclaiming hell, fire, blah, blah.. and calling out specific sins and saying all people who do "[this]" are going to hell....when "[this]" is not at all a sin...

later i talked to a friend about it and he said the hell/fire story sounded like it could pooooosibly be a prophet. i was appalled. i am aware and agree that prophets called out peoples' sins, and even an entire nations' sins, but they were not anything like these men i've run into, even on my campus. i told him how people like that, more often than not, turn people away from seeking Truth because they condemn as if it is their place, they speak false truths about sin and how you are to be in relation with God, etc. and that if those are prophets i don't even want to be a part of it. somehow i am convinced that's not at all what God had in mind when he said love one another. take my words to the nations. live like my Son. nope, not convinced.

create.

i find that when i paint i am happy. when i take photos i am happy. when i edit photos i am happy. when i create i am happy.

soooo..why am i just now figuring this out? aaaffttter my undergraduate is finished.... hmm.

spit and dirt.

you made the blind man see by your spit and some dirt... surely you can make this blind man see.
you redeemed your beloved from Egypt even when they turned back again and again....surely you can redeem me.
questions come from a deep longing to know the truth.
questions come even after i know the Truth.
struggles, questions, things that may never be answered as long as i am here.

but you say you redeem us.
you are always true.
you always care for those who trust in You.

call them to You.
make her believe you are able to do what you say you will do. show her your deliverance.
make his eyes open like you have done so many times in the past.
make me really trust in your redeeming love.

life lessons

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.
romans 12:9

He has come and has redeemed his people.
luke 1:68

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.
philippians 4:8

"Has no one condemned you?"
"No one, sir," she said.
"Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin."
john 8:10-11

live music, balcony, fireworks. 11:30pm

one thing i love about living behind a university in the spring....

live music out my window... well more like in my entire apartment from about 6:30-11:30pm.. haha.

i've been sitting outside on my balcony listening to the music which included "oooh baby baby it's a wild world" "no woman no cry" and a couple of other english songs with many reggae rock songs..

earlier there were fireworks and popular music playing... while we were having a storying group in my apartment.. hilarious.... ah how i miss live music.. i'm going to the show on friday night.. a band called Duman... i may actually lose a significant portion of my hearing while in attendance...

grasshoppers and snails.

today we are learning about direct an indirect speech in language class.
my teacher just compared direct and indirect speech by saying they were like grasshoppers and snails. haha....
after today's class ends, i only have 4 more days of class.
friday, monday, wednesday, friday.....
wow.

encouragement today

The trouble is with me, for I am all too human, a slave to sin. I don’t really understand myself, for I want to do what is right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do what I hate.......

...But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me....

...So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Chrst J_s_s. And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death...

...you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of G0d are children of G0d....

...And the H Spirit helps us in our weakness...

...And we know that G0d causes everything to work together for the good of those who love G0d and are called according to his purpose for them....

...Can anything ever separate us from Crst’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death?... No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Chrst, who loved us....

...And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from Gd’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from Gd’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of Gd that is revealed in Crst Jsus our Lord....

tonight.......

it threatens me.
it shocked me.
God convinced me. No man could.
i want to go there!
we are hurting ourselves.
does it match what you've been taught?
i have to tell you.

if you have not heard, i am now a proud aunt to Jackson Avery Brashier... He was born Thursday, April 23 at 11:31 am via emergency c-section. He is 7 lbs. 5 ounces and 19 1/2 inches long... And, is the most beautiful little boy ever.... :)





He has a lot of funny faces..

tulips......... :)

today i chased tulips. i found them 2 hours from my house, yes in the same city. the best part is that it took FOUR hours to get home. gotta love traffic.

besides that, it was a beautiful day in a beautiful park with more tulips than i have seen in my entire life combined.... gorgeous.

sometimes we wish for things that can never be. things that should never be. sometimes we trust our hearts only to find our hearts are deceitful above all else. time and time again. same thing. different way. then we are reminded there is a better way. a better way. and sometimes we so easily forget he. has. redeemed. us. [from much]. i have it on my wrist as a constant reminder and sometimes that's not even enough.

ah, antalya....

so i am sitting at a beach on the mediterranean soaking up the sun.. you have to catch it at the right hours, otherwise it's a bit chilly... i have yet to get in the water, other than ankle deep, but tomorrow, i plan to swim in one of the pools... some people i work with have a conference here this week and i get the pleasure of helping with childcare.... trust me it IS a pleasure, especially considering i am HERE... it's so gorgeous... only 4 days, but it's my longest time to be out of the city and away from all the noise... i haven't really heard the sea, even though i live right on it....

last week i got more rest than i expected, which was a good change from the crazy month before.... and this is wonderful too... it's amazing how long you can go without true peace and quiet... it's quite overwhelming....

i think our brains and our bodies and our souls really need quiet more than we give them quiet... somewhere deep inside us there is this part of of that screams for quiet but we are too busy or loud to hear it, notice it, or care...