lent.

tomorrow starts lent.
i usually don't observe lent, but i also never fast, either..
i see the value of fasting, but i am lazy..
with that being said, i am observing lent through fasting this year...

i thought about what to fast from for a while, and the most obvious, hardest thing for me to fast from is: facebook, blogs, and twitter. i don't use twitter often anymore, but i am way too obsessed with facebook, and my google reader is full of posts every day... which i skim over and sometimes read...

but, when talking with a friend, i also decided i will still need to communicate with the world, since i'm halfway across the world from most of my loved ones, so i will be on facebook/blogs on Sundays...

if ya need me, you can email me... :)

oh and by the way, lent is february 25-april 11. Easter is on April 12.

redemptive story.

one thing that's come back time and time again for the past year or so is that i am redeemed of God.
my wrist shows proof of the promise God spoke to me so clearly one day... and continues to every time i need reminding..
sometimes the reminder comes in a short, sweet whisper of a promise.
and sometimes, it's more like a parent disciplining..
but always how i need to hear it.
i am with you.
you are mine.
redeemed.
at a price.

i am more convinced than ever that each of our lives are a beautiful redemption story written by God.
that he can make a beautiful story out of the mess i've made. with my own hands.

i'm also more convinced than ever that the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.
there is nothing good in me.
if i follow my hearts' desires, i will always fail.
i will always have to be reminded i am redeemed of God and i am to trust in him.

"no distrust made him (abraham) waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised."

taco bell sauce...check! burt's bees... check!

today i got a package at my door......from darlene!!! it's my first package and i was sooo excited.. i opened it and i actually cried just a little bit because it was so thoughtful.. everything seems random, but each one is special to me. ha. anyway.. so i blogged about taco bell sauce cravings recently, and darlene included that.. hilarious... this definitely made my day.. no, my week. ha... :)

[[vday card, vday socks, vday m&ms, vday runts, vday post its, TACO BELL SAUCE, salsa SEASONING!!, burt's beeeees, magnetic calendar, and CD]]

yesterday i had language, taught 3 year olds in the afternoon, met with my tutor, and then had a 4 hour long storying group.. it went sooo well i think. it was a lot of fun spending time with friends discussing Truth. we had a chance to clear up some misperceptions and answer a few questions, but there are still tons from my friends here.. so this looks like it will continue to be a great study. i'm being challenged about how i know some things, why they are true, and what it would mean if they weren't... so, it's a great time of study for me too.

thursday, a high school group gets in! exciting.. :)

we must choose what our hands will do.

most of my "spiritual" thoughts lately have been focused on justice. the oppressed. mercy. loving people.

there is so much in the Bible about loving people. about bringing justice and providing mercy. there is a high importance and calling to love the oppressed, specifically. the poor. orphan. widow. (refugee).

i was listening to d.c. band and some of his lyrics echo my thoughts lately. "and our problem is this//we were bought with a kiss//but the cheek still turned//even when it wasn't hit//and i don't know what to do with a love like that//and i don't know//how to be a love like that//when all the love in the world//is right here among us//and hatred too//so we must choose what our hands will do//where there is pain, let us bring grace. where there is suffering, bring serenity. for those afraid, let us be brave. where there is misery, let us bring them relief.//surely we can change//oh, surely we can change something"..

my thoughts have been about what this looks like. what does it mean to love like this? what does it mean to bring grace, serenity, bravery, relief, change?

there is a refugee center here that a place that brings relief and change and grace and bravery and serenity to many people who have fled their countries. in this country, to live as a refugee is much different than in america. i keep hearing more stories that break my heart.

i was recently approached by a friend to help teach some of the children. we only get to spend 1 1/2 hours with them a week and that is pretty much all the schooling they get, but what an opportunity to start to put some of this in action. i am humbled by the ways the father is answering my questions and yearnings to really love like he loves. i think that in my relatively futile attempts to love people i am learning more and more about how great his love is for me. (and how tainted and broken and incomplete my love is).

bird droppings.

today, i got to hang out with my friend, natalie and walk by the sea.... we walked in and out of sunny streets headed to the sea, and all was great until.... something dropped on the back of my head.... i said "oh no..i hope that wasn't a bird"... and natalie said "uh, it was a bird!" yep, i got pooped on today--yuck! then she offered to clean it with a tissue for me. you know it's a good friend when they offer to clean bird poop out of your hair.

:)

but one good thing--natalie is interested in doing a storying group/study with me and some friends...that was awesome. if i ever doubt he's working, i will remember times like these.. it starts monday, so keep me in your thoughts.

hippies, free bracelets, and more conversation!

so i finished class this afternoon and decided to head to my normal coffee shop, which ended up being closed..... so, we went to this other cafe i pass all the time.. it's called Agape Cafe, and it has two signs: 1 that is a light up sign with a nargile and coffee cup and 1 that is in big rainbow bubble letters.. ha! so naturally, i HAD to try it some time.. so why not now since i had a guy to go with me.

so, we go in the door, down a hallway with small shops and then up these sketchy stairs and into the cafe...i walk in first and it's all guys and it's smoky.. which we expected

so we go in and sit at this booth and then the guy asks what we want and we ordered cay and then when he came back we had already pulled out our notes to study and our ipods and he starts talking to j and there's a girl behind me at another booth...so he starts talking away in only turkish and we are trying our best to follow and respond

then the girl turns around and says "i want to give you this bracelet as a gift" in tukish...it was one she made. and i love the colors! it's like multi colored and pretty sweet...then she gave j one too.. same one, so now we look like we have friendship bracelets..even better. haha.

and so we ended up talking to them and like 4 other people or an hour and a half 98% in Turkish about what our jobs were and our family and stuff...and ya.. definitely hippies and i loved it

so later after we left, j said stuff like that happens to him a ton here and he said "does it not happen to you? and i was like "NO! if it's guys they dont talk to me bc im a girl if its a girl and a guy, she's interested in talking to the guy, not me, if it's 2 or more girls, they have people to talk to, and if it's one girl, she's probably independent enough she doesnt want to talk to anyone or she would be WITH someone...

so, yeah. it was cool.. and i got a pretty sweet bracelet out of it too!

then, at tea time, a girl i've been trying to talk to more sat by me and we talked a lot.. she's coming over for lunch tomorrow afternoon and i'm excited! she tried to encourage me in my language by saying i need to SPEAK it more (true).. so she suggested we meet once or twice a week.. she said we'll speak turkish one hour and then we can speak english 1 hour and so on.. sweet!! i have been really hoping for this, so lets continue hoping it plays out... :)

muffin maddness!

this weekend i cooked a lot. well, mainly muffins..
really, making a bunch of muffins takes a while, but they are so easy to freeze and grab with a piece of fruit in the mornings...
plus, cereal is way too expensive here..
so, i made three kinds this weekend... strawberry banana, banana kiwi, and, my favorite--mocha chocolate chip banana. they all have banana, but i bought two bundles of bananas and my roommate is out of town..soooo.....

i also made grilled veggie potato skins, stuffed peppers, roasted potatoes, and brownies in the past 3 or 4 days..

other than that, i cleaned a lot this weekend..
and hung out with some amazing people.

what is happening to meeeee!?