week off! yay!

this week is kurban bayram. this is good for me because i get the WHOLE week off.. most of it is over now but it has been a wonderful week. i painted my hall tiramisu. i edited a 54-page paper. i stayed inside a lot. i had a christmas movie night with friends and goodies. and i went to büyükada. oh, i also witnessed part of a sacrifice outside my apartment window.

kurban bayram is a yearly holiday for Muslims devoted to sacrificing animals in remembrance of Abraham and Isaac (they say, Ishmael) when God provided a ram in the place of Isaac and also as a time to give to the poor. I witnessed some sacrifices outside of my window and it burdens me even more to lift up their salvation to the Father. So, please, remember them, too.

seeing the sacrifices was actually something i hoped for because i wanted to feel it more.

sometimes i feel it a lot. sometimes i don't for a while. sometimes i get too settled. too comfortable. too okay with how things are. right now i am slipping into one of those times. i need to feel more broken. i need to be more aware. more alert.

tomorrow i am planning to go to çamlica...the tallest hill in the city with the biggest view. last time i was here i went there. that is the place i felt it most here. the realization of HOW many people are here who don't have Truth in their lives. return that feeling to me.