sunshine, at last.

sunshine.
sunshine.
sunshine.

ah, happiness.

i've had more sunshine than i know what to do with this week. it's rained some, but compared with the past month...whew... it's been nice. i've also had more american food than i know what to do with.. i didn't realize til this weekend that there are at least 20 different american fast food or regular restaurants in this city.. some of those have 20 or more locations... it's insane.. i must not eat American or any other food out for at leaaaast 2 weeks or more.. man..

next weekend i am doing childcare for a conference in antalya.. so excited! it will be a nice "vacation" even if i am working. yay!

weekend away in london

last week was really restful. i also had a lot of chances to hang out with new friends and deepen relationships. it was such an encouraging week for me...

friday afternoon, i headed to the airport and hopped on a plane to london for the weekend.. 4 hours later i was there. i got through passport control and headed outside to find a taxi.. i was a bit surprised when the taxis weren't yellow and the drivers were sitting on the left side.. ha.. but i got over it.. the hotel was lovely and i woke up bright and early to head into london.

i met with a friend of a friend, who is my age, and i had a lot of fun being shown around the city. fish & chips....krispy kreme.. and store bought, self-cooked bacon for dinner... AMAZING.. i even froze the second package and brought it back on the plane... along with 6 krispy kreme doughnuts to share with the roomie, some twix bars, and tea.

it was just what i needed, i think.... however, being in a place where everyone spoke english was a bit overwhelming... it was such a beautiful city to escape to... (check facebook for pics soon, hopefully)...

Efes/Ephesus--see facebook for pics.

this is the first time i have heard thunder in at least 5 months. it's so strange.. i had not thought of it until today but i really miss thunder.. almost to the point of crying because it is finally here. the rain looks like it is about to pour from the clouds, but as i wait they crash together.

thursday i went to efes/wphesus with the memphis group. it was the most amazing place i have ever seen. walking on the streets paul walked on...ceasar walked on... down steps that so many who formed our history walked on.. was simply amazing.

the ruins that have been preserved made me stand in awe when combined with the beautiful landscape behind them and the rolling, dark, thick clouds up above. all day it looked just as the clouds look today, as if they are about to burst and pour forth the rain that is making them so full and dark up above. but, it did not rain the entire time we were in ephesus which was a special blessing. the lighting and the shape of the clouds provided for even more spectacular pictures.

the stadiums..the library...the arches...the walls...the streets.. the mosaic floors... the marble... everything was absolutely breath-taking..

as we came to st. john's bascillica, the rain came down as a fresh breeze, so light you could barely call each one a drop. it was refreshing in a way i cannot explain..

the ancient ruins at the bascillica were equally stunning... the more i walked around, the more i discovered. it sat upon a hill that overlooked the village on one side and had mountains rolling on the opposite side.. from the edge, you could see the ancient pillar which was to worship the goddess artemis and a newer mosque very close beside..

thinking about how three such different belief systems could exist in one small area amazes me.. it also shows me how easy it is for His people to forget what he has done for them and how far he has brought them and to turn to false gods and worship another.

at the end of the trip, we vistied a carpet making and selling factory. it was very interesting and a good end to the day...

my week...

the memphis group was in town this week for their spring break. i got to be heavily involved in their schedule, which made me happy. they toured universities, helped out at a refugee center, toured ephesus/efes, came to English Tea Time, and toured the popular sites in the city..

i cannot tell you how much it pleased my heart to have a few friends in town and even new ones from my hometown. i had so much fun with them and it was amazing to watch as the Father used their mouths to speak His Truth to my friends here and to new friends they met. I am always amazed at how much He can use people who come in so quickly. He is definitely capable and willing to use anything/body willing to speak His Truth..

Thanks to those of you who sent gifts through the group and who continue to send your thoughts this way. Keep lifting up the people of this city, especially the Marmara students. I can see Him beginning a great work on that campus through our requests and through people like the Memphis group.

back to "reality"?....sunshine!!!!...and ephesus soon!

well, i survived the first 4 days of the fast. not too bad.. i just worried about someone posting something they shouldn't on my wall and silly stuff like that.. i had as much as i needed of facebook and blogs for the day, however..

today, something awesome happened.. the SUN shone! it literally rained at least 2 weeks straight.... no sunshine at all.. that has to be the hardest part about living here.... the nonstop winter rain.. in the past 3 weeks, there's been about 3 days total of sunshine.. that's ridiculous! but, i do appreciate the sun much more now.. ha. it also provided a beautiful sunset, which i saw out of a friend's flat...

the memphis group gets here in a week from today--i'm so excited about it! they'll be here a week, but it will be great to see a few friends and meet some new friends... i'll be going to Efes/Ephesus with them, too--which is even more exciting. well.... maybe just as exciting.. ha..

well, back to fasting..... :)

lent.

tomorrow starts lent.
i usually don't observe lent, but i also never fast, either..
i see the value of fasting, but i am lazy..
with that being said, i am observing lent through fasting this year...

i thought about what to fast from for a while, and the most obvious, hardest thing for me to fast from is: facebook, blogs, and twitter. i don't use twitter often anymore, but i am way too obsessed with facebook, and my google reader is full of posts every day... which i skim over and sometimes read...

but, when talking with a friend, i also decided i will still need to communicate with the world, since i'm halfway across the world from most of my loved ones, so i will be on facebook/blogs on Sundays...

if ya need me, you can email me... :)

oh and by the way, lent is february 25-april 11. Easter is on April 12.

redemptive story.

one thing that's come back time and time again for the past year or so is that i am redeemed of God.
my wrist shows proof of the promise God spoke to me so clearly one day... and continues to every time i need reminding..
sometimes the reminder comes in a short, sweet whisper of a promise.
and sometimes, it's more like a parent disciplining..
but always how i need to hear it.
i am with you.
you are mine.
redeemed.
at a price.

i am more convinced than ever that each of our lives are a beautiful redemption story written by God.
that he can make a beautiful story out of the mess i've made. with my own hands.

i'm also more convinced than ever that the heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure.
there is nothing good in me.
if i follow my hearts' desires, i will always fail.
i will always have to be reminded i am redeemed of God and i am to trust in him.

"no distrust made him (abraham) waver concerning the promise of God, but he grew strong in his faith as he gave glory to God, fully convinced that God was able to do what he had promised."

taco bell sauce...check! burt's bees... check!

today i got a package at my door......from darlene!!! it's my first package and i was sooo excited.. i opened it and i actually cried just a little bit because it was so thoughtful.. everything seems random, but each one is special to me. ha. anyway.. so i blogged about taco bell sauce cravings recently, and darlene included that.. hilarious... this definitely made my day.. no, my week. ha... :)

[[vday card, vday socks, vday m&ms, vday runts, vday post its, TACO BELL SAUCE, salsa SEASONING!!, burt's beeeees, magnetic calendar, and CD]]

yesterday i had language, taught 3 year olds in the afternoon, met with my tutor, and then had a 4 hour long storying group.. it went sooo well i think. it was a lot of fun spending time with friends discussing Truth. we had a chance to clear up some misperceptions and answer a few questions, but there are still tons from my friends here.. so this looks like it will continue to be a great study. i'm being challenged about how i know some things, why they are true, and what it would mean if they weren't... so, it's a great time of study for me too.

thursday, a high school group gets in! exciting.. :)

we must choose what our hands will do.

most of my "spiritual" thoughts lately have been focused on justice. the oppressed. mercy. loving people.

there is so much in the Bible about loving people. about bringing justice and providing mercy. there is a high importance and calling to love the oppressed, specifically. the poor. orphan. widow. (refugee).

i was listening to d.c. band and some of his lyrics echo my thoughts lately. "and our problem is this//we were bought with a kiss//but the cheek still turned//even when it wasn't hit//and i don't know what to do with a love like that//and i don't know//how to be a love like that//when all the love in the world//is right here among us//and hatred too//so we must choose what our hands will do//where there is pain, let us bring grace. where there is suffering, bring serenity. for those afraid, let us be brave. where there is misery, let us bring them relief.//surely we can change//oh, surely we can change something"..

my thoughts have been about what this looks like. what does it mean to love like this? what does it mean to bring grace, serenity, bravery, relief, change?

there is a refugee center here that a place that brings relief and change and grace and bravery and serenity to many people who have fled their countries. in this country, to live as a refugee is much different than in america. i keep hearing more stories that break my heart.

i was recently approached by a friend to help teach some of the children. we only get to spend 1 1/2 hours with them a week and that is pretty much all the schooling they get, but what an opportunity to start to put some of this in action. i am humbled by the ways the father is answering my questions and yearnings to really love like he loves. i think that in my relatively futile attempts to love people i am learning more and more about how great his love is for me. (and how tainted and broken and incomplete my love is).

bird droppings.

today, i got to hang out with my friend, natalie and walk by the sea.... we walked in and out of sunny streets headed to the sea, and all was great until.... something dropped on the back of my head.... i said "oh no..i hope that wasn't a bird"... and natalie said "uh, it was a bird!" yep, i got pooped on today--yuck! then she offered to clean it with a tissue for me. you know it's a good friend when they offer to clean bird poop out of your hair.

:)

but one good thing--natalie is interested in doing a storying group/study with me and some friends...that was awesome. if i ever doubt he's working, i will remember times like these.. it starts monday, so keep me in your thoughts.

hippies, free bracelets, and more conversation!

so i finished class this afternoon and decided to head to my normal coffee shop, which ended up being closed..... so, we went to this other cafe i pass all the time.. it's called Agape Cafe, and it has two signs: 1 that is a light up sign with a nargile and coffee cup and 1 that is in big rainbow bubble letters.. ha! so naturally, i HAD to try it some time.. so why not now since i had a guy to go with me.

so, we go in the door, down a hallway with small shops and then up these sketchy stairs and into the cafe...i walk in first and it's all guys and it's smoky.. which we expected

so we go in and sit at this booth and then the guy asks what we want and we ordered cay and then when he came back we had already pulled out our notes to study and our ipods and he starts talking to j and there's a girl behind me at another booth...so he starts talking away in only turkish and we are trying our best to follow and respond

then the girl turns around and says "i want to give you this bracelet as a gift" in tukish...it was one she made. and i love the colors! it's like multi colored and pretty sweet...then she gave j one too.. same one, so now we look like we have friendship bracelets..even better. haha.

and so we ended up talking to them and like 4 other people or an hour and a half 98% in Turkish about what our jobs were and our family and stuff...and ya.. definitely hippies and i loved it

so later after we left, j said stuff like that happens to him a ton here and he said "does it not happen to you? and i was like "NO! if it's guys they dont talk to me bc im a girl if its a girl and a guy, she's interested in talking to the guy, not me, if it's 2 or more girls, they have people to talk to, and if it's one girl, she's probably independent enough she doesnt want to talk to anyone or she would be WITH someone...

so, yeah. it was cool.. and i got a pretty sweet bracelet out of it too!

then, at tea time, a girl i've been trying to talk to more sat by me and we talked a lot.. she's coming over for lunch tomorrow afternoon and i'm excited! she tried to encourage me in my language by saying i need to SPEAK it more (true).. so she suggested we meet once or twice a week.. she said we'll speak turkish one hour and then we can speak english 1 hour and so on.. sweet!! i have been really hoping for this, so lets continue hoping it plays out... :)

muffin maddness!

this weekend i cooked a lot. well, mainly muffins..
really, making a bunch of muffins takes a while, but they are so easy to freeze and grab with a piece of fruit in the mornings...
plus, cereal is way too expensive here..
so, i made three kinds this weekend... strawberry banana, banana kiwi, and, my favorite--mocha chocolate chip banana. they all have banana, but i bought two bundles of bananas and my roommate is out of town..soooo.....

i also made grilled veggie potato skins, stuffed peppers, roasted potatoes, and brownies in the past 3 or 4 days..

other than that, i cleaned a lot this weekend..
and hung out with some amazing people.

what is happening to meeeee!?

aşure (uh?sure?ay!)

this time of year (january), Turks celebrate soooomething. so, they give their neighbors/friends a dessert called aşure. our neighbors brought some over tonight, being our first neighbors to share aşure with us. we have, however, had aşure at least 2 other times this month, and this was the best yet....... maybe it's an aquired taste?

aşure usually consists of 12 ingredients.. the one we got tonight had.... cinnamon, chickpeas, beans, crushed pistachios, crushed almonds, coconut, apricot, peach, pomegranate, raisins, bulgur rice, grapes.........

yum!

some people celebrate in honor of a prophet who died... some say it's just a time to thank God, but the most commonly celebrated is.....

Noah and the ark.... they say Noah made a dish similar to this after the flood because it's all the food he had left and he did it to thank God... so that sounds good to me. Thank you, God for your faithfulness (and aşure, of course).....

oh, and april and i decided we will come up with our own aşure-like dessert....with 12 random ingredients--any suggestions?

cozy cafe & taco bell sauce.

tonight i got to hang out with my friend *natalie. we hang out at least once a week, and she is great to just sit and have çay (hot tea) with... so i always enjoy our time together... she also enjoys filtered coffee, which is rare here... so, ya.... tonight I was excited to be able to hang out with her, since exams keep college students here SUPER busy...

when we met up, she said that she had seen some cafe she was interested in going to, and I was up for something new.. so we walked down this street a while and found this sweet little cafe. definitely reminded me of java or a number of small, chill cafe/coffee shops in america... i was thrilled, because i have been wanting to find places like that! she said "when my friends and I find places we really like, we go back there over and over and we say it's 'our place' so this can be 'our place' and I will show more friends where it is..."

the great thing about it is it's quieter than regular cafes and you would never notice it walking by, since it's upstairs. so, no crowds or obnoxious music. ah, blessing for sure. the father is looking out for me by providing a place like this for me.

on another note, today i microwaved a quesadilla of sorts and it was very small..... and the result was cheesy goodness... but it left me with a rare craving--taco bell mild sauce.... i know... i feel like a pregnant person because that is SOO random, but i really really want it now.... anyone want to send me a letter??! haha.

three months.
a couple of days ago marked three months.. how do i feel?
hmmmmmmmm.......

well, i have missed home a little more recently.
but, not terribly. just ya know..
i miss barbeque. ah! and tortilla chips and salsa.
man, i could go for some central bbq and then mexican food.
yea....

but...... hmm language..
it's coming.. i am understanding a lot more.
i thiiiink my pronunciation is better at times and sometimes i think it's terrible, so who knows.
we are getting into more complex stuff in our class and i am still happy, so that's a good sign. :)

i am ready for a short trip out of the city/country.
oh the possibilities.

oh and one thing that frustrates me to no end is the process of paying bills.
every month i dread it.
i think once i get it sorted out it will become easier.. but ya.
i want to pull my hair out some days.
DO NOT take for granted the luxury of checks and simple online bill payment in the states. ha.

strawberries!!!

Today i went to the pazar to get my groceries, as I do every Friday...

and there were....... STRAWBERRIES! 1 kilo for 2 lira.. or 2.2 pounds for $1.25 us dollars. wow! this makes me excited about spring/summer.

this weekend, i hope to: study, sleep, paint. maybe get out and take more pics. we'll see.

memories.pics.small victories.

small victory this week... i got a few of my favorite pics developed without anyone assisting me. yay. so, in celebration, i will share a couple of my favorites of my favorites. ha. (since blogger takes about a year to upload any pics....)


amos lee best describes my late night ponderings....
"A thousand empty windows
And only half the lights are out
I wonder what these people's lives
What they might be all about.."

do you ever have one of those days when you walk out of your apartment and realize an hour or so later that every piece of clothing you put on that day was a mistake?

that was my day.

but, good news is: i have rain boots now! i ordered some from piperlime in america and i got them today... yay! less of those days, hopefully.

google-helping people cook

today after a somewhat frustrating start to the day, i decided to go chill at starbucks for an hour or so and study and read.... it was nice and i am glad i did it, but i came home just before my tutor showed up for our monday night 1 hour session.

i didn't have time to cook anything before tutoring (and wasn't hungry after starbucks...) so, i tutored til about 630 and decided i would make potato soup.. but then my potatoes were all bad

so i googled broccoli red pepper soups to see if they existed since i had a ton of both..
and i found a recipe that sounded good.. so i decided to try, hoping for a quick, yummy dinner..

yeah.....

i didn't read the part about roasting the red peppers
or the part about PUREEING since we don't have a puree machine

so i googled "can you puree with a hand mixer?"
and found out it IS possible, but not highly recommended
since i was halfway through with the soup i decided i would try..

well, just a hand mixer wasn't enough so i frantically searched the cabinets looking for something to help. ha
so i decided on a potato masher.. and mashed away (the red peppers, then two bowl fulls of the soup mix i mad made..

and almost three hours later, i had broccoli red pepper soup
it was delicious though...just a little more than i bargained for.

so google searches= potato soup recipe, broccoli red pepper soup recipe, how to roast red peppers, how to peel broccoli stems, cooking conversions, how to puree with a hand mixer...and maybe others.

catching up--holidays & 1st visitor

have i mentioned that i love living in sunshine apartment on idea hill?
that's what it translates into in english.
so inspiring--how can you not be creative here?

besides that, my favorite thing about this apartment is that i can always hear the (frequent) rain on my fire escape outside my window.
kind of like having a tin roof.
i think my room is the only one in the apt that has that sound, and i love it.

catching up......

first visitor.
my best friend, who is living in poland, came to visit for christmas!
she was here a week and we had a lot of fun.
it was nice to have a piece of home here for christmas.
it was nice that she's not a "touristy" person since i didn't have much time with christmas cooking and all.
and, we went skiing/snowboarding! (see below).

christmas.
this was my first christmas without my huge, awesome family.
it was sad but it helped to have a big group of friends here to celebrate with here.
we all had a big white elephant christmas eve party.
on christmas day, april and i made a lot of food and sweets and invited a turkish friend over to celebrate.
banana pancakes, socks on the tree, big dinner with close friends...all may be new traditions.

skiing/snowboarding.
i went with a group of people to uludağ.
it was supposed to be 2 or 3 hours outside of the city but it was, in fact, SIX hours.
after riding a city bus, a shuttle bus, a charter bus, a ferry, the same charter bus again, a city bus, 2 cable cars, and a taxi van, we arrived.
the snow was beautiful. the hotel and food were amazing.
i got to hang out with friends and enjoy the Maker's wonderful creation.
good times.
well, except for the fact that turkish men (in general) CAN NOT ski!!!!
i should have known this after my experience ice skating in turkey, but no, i got to experience it firsthand..
in the form of being knocked out by turkish men while skiing TWICE.
the second knock down resulted in a headache, soreness, and a very bent ski pole.
i'm talking at least a 45 degree angle bent. not normal.
i survived though, and it was worth it.
i think next year, i'll learn a way to say "hit me and die" in turkish and tape it to my back.
the guy #2 said "you didn't see me coming!" to which i replied "i usually look IN FRONT of me when i am skiing!"
ah, turkey.

new years.
the rain sometimes never stops here.
like all winter.
so, new years eve consisted of shopping at a mall in the afternoon and then going over to my boss's house to watch movies and eat pancakes with him, his wife, and daughter (around my age).
it was the perfect indoor new years celebration.
we ended the night by standing against a window watching fireworks off in the distance across the water (and some inbetween tall apartment buildings..that's when we closed the window).